The Overview

When man went to the moon in 1968 something happened that shifted our thinking beyond what anyone thought possible.  We got a glimpse of ourselves in a way that forever transformed us.  We saw images of the earth, the beauty, the mystery revealed in a way that changed the way we saw everything.

This was the powerful opening video to a conference I'm here in Seattle attending and speaking at #Inspireconf2015.  A conference designed to pull together church leaders, lay leaders, and business leaders to rise to a new place, to rise to both be inspired and to inspire others around us.  While the concept is inspirational in itself, I was surprised how much this 19 minute clip Pastor Steve Jamison shared with the nearly 400 people gathered here impacted me.  It both challenged me and reminded me of how important it is that we gaze on the right things.

I know as a strong, admittedly ambitious, driven leader I am always shooting for the moon on things.  I like to do the impossible, to push the boundaries, to seek new heights.  Yet, perhaps my gaze is on the wrong things.  It is not with the eye to these things that I need to be looking, but to the one who made those things.  My eyes should be more focused on the Creator, vs. the created.  What a powerful thought.  To shift my gaze, to get the bigger overview of the world.  To see the things I am trying to build and achieve in context of God's bigger plan and design.

What I realize is that if we were never shooting for the moon, and hadn't pushed towards it to actually go to space we never would have caught that glimpse of earth that so dramatically changed us.  I need to keep shooting for the moon, building towards those things, but in the moment I also need to shift my eyes to seeing the overview of the bigger picture.

What are you gazing at?  How would this shift affect your efforts?

Blind from birth or blinded by your sight?

I always find it interesting that when things happen we don't understand, we are blinded by our own sight. We see things the way we want to see them.  We question the facts.  We disavow what is right in front of us not believing our eyes.  It seems we are just blind.  Blind to the truth.  Blind to reality.  Blind to possibility because we can't believe it.  Sometimes I think those that are truly blind - may see more of the truth than we actually do.

I've always admired those are blind, not because I've ever wanted to switch places with them.  However, I watch them as they navigate in the world; strong, courageous, independent, and aware of everything around them.  I stand in awe of their ability to function and enjoy life, especially when they can't see what I take for granted everyday.  The beauty in the world.  The joy of a sunset or sunrise.  The special look on my children's face that makes me just adore them and fall in love with them all over again even when I'm disappointed in what they did.  I long to see as clearly as they do at times, even though they have no sight.

God recently opened my eyes through a great story in His word in about this. It's a simple story, yet a miraculous one where one who was blind sees clearly and those that see...are blind.   John Chapter 9

It starts simply v1 "As he passed by, Jesus saw man, blind from birth."  Jesus SAW this man.  He SAW a need.  He SAW something wonderful.  The disciples didn't see that.  They saw a blind man and asked Jesus v2 "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"  They saw someone blind and assumed he must have sinned to have this judgement upon him.  But I love Jesus response v3, "It was not this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him."

WOW!  That 3rd verse got me....

 I couldn't help but thinking that maybe this man's whole life had been prepared for this encounter with Jesus where he was seen, and about to see more clearly than ever before.

This man was was a beggar.  He couldn't earn a living the same way everyone else did because he was blind.  He had no Braille language, no guide dog, no support.  He couldn't work.  He had to depend on others to survive.  I only hope too that he was also blind to the mocking that went on around him, faces people made at him but I somehow have the feeling that he saw that too.

As I read this story, what I loved is that it wasn't just that a blind man was about to receive sight, but that through giving him sight, it would confront all those around him that thought they saw so clearly yet were blind.

It is not a glamorous miracle.  In fact I think if he could have seen, he might not have liked what Jesus was doing to heal him.  I love it.  Jesus spit into mud.  He then put that on his eyes.  Told him to go wash that mess off, in a pool  Siloam (which meant sent) and He did just as Jesus said.  When he washed it away - he came away seeing.  I imagine it wasn't unclear either.  Not like I see when I half awake in the middle of the night.  I bet is was clear - crystal clear and almost overwhelming.

The Lord Jesus spit into mud.  The blind man washed.  He sees.  Pretty simple.  Pretty amazing story. Of course the fact Jesus did this on the Sabbath, caused quite a stir...but more on that later.  This man whose been blind for years suddenly sees. His neighbors and those that saw him didn't even recognize him.  They were perplexed.  They argue about whether or not he IS the same man.  I imagine his outward appearance didn't change much - so why the big mystery?  Oh, maybe it's because no one could believe that a man born blind could see... maybe they couldn't see what was right in front of them.

They took the man to their leaders, the Pharisees.  The Pharisees asked him how he received his sight. He told him.  They argued how Jesus could do this.  Was He of God or the Devil? They didn't believe he was born blind.  They called his parents to confirm it was true.  His parents feared them.  They answered, this is our son, he was born blind, but how he sees we don't know (even though they did).  Ask our son, he's of age and will tell you.  he Pharisee's asked him again in They called him  and said, "Give glory to God. We know this man (Jesus) is a sinner." v24  He answered them, "Whether he is a sinner, I do know know.  One thing I do know that thought I was blind now I see." v25

The Pharisees asked him again what Jesus did to him.  He can't believe they don't see what he is saying.  v 26..."I have told you already and you would not listen.  Why do you want to hear it again?  Do you also want to become his disciples?"   Not only were they blinded by their misbeliefs about Jesus, they were deaf too.  Or were they?

The Pharisees eventually kick this man out of their fellowship.  Too threatening all that he saw.  Jesus hears about it and comes to find this man.  He asks him a simple question of belief. v25 ..."Do you believe in the Son of Man?"  The man answers him v26 "And who is he sir, that I may believe in him?"  What happens next is amazing...Jesus said to him v27 "You have seen him, and it is he who is speaking to you."  This man who was blind now sees fully.  He is seen and known and sees and knows fully.  He worships him and says, "Lord I believe..."

It is perhaps the last verse of that tells the whole story, we'd call this the "SO WHAT" in business... v39 Jesus said, "For judgement I came into this world, that those who do not see, may see, and those who see may become blind." 

Oh Lord, that I would see.  The choice is clear. Our eyes are opened.  The question now is how we will respond?

Will we be like these neighbors, questioning how this can be?  Will we be like these leaders, told again and again how these things happened, and yet we are blinded by our own perceptions and beliefs?  Or will we be like the blind man and receive sight and believe?

One of the reason's I love this story is it is so raw.  It's honest.  It's humble. It's a bit in your face.  It's  clear.  It's not something we can do.  Jesus sees the blind and frees them.  He SAW... he ACTED....and all the man had to do was RESPOND.  Jesus didn't see a beggar, He saw someone whose life was about to display God's glory.  He saw one who would receive sight and treasure it so he opened his eyes and in doing so, showed everyone else around him their blindness.

As a Christian, I'd like to think my eyes are always clear, but I know they are not.  I miss seeing things every day.  I don't always see the need.  I don't always see the glory about to come.  I miss the potential in others because the way they show up may put me off.   How grateful I am that God opens eyes.   I pray I would see as clearly as the blind man and believe, worship and treasure the sight I've been given.

 Are you blind too?  Has He opened your eyes? If not, do you want to see more clearly?   Just ask Him.  He is faithful.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on this and I'm always happy to pray with or help you.

Winter's past - Behold all things become new

Spring means it's time for the cold winter to thaw and the residue of that season to melt away at times flowing into a raging river.  Time for rebirth after a season of death or detachment.  This spring feels very symbolic for me as I realize I have been long in winter, for many, many years, and God just thawed out my heart and unleashed a wellspring of His presence that is incredibly strong and powerful, nearly sweeping me away in passion, love, and excitement for Him and all that He is doing in me. 

I've always had confidence in God's love for me since I accepted Jesus into my heart over 20 years ago but at times I've felt the chill from the loss of his presence, and the coldness of my own heart, my own desires. 

Enduring a painful season in my professional life over the last nine months, God met me powerfully one Sunday in July as I visited Hillsong Church in Sydney on my business trip.  He lovingly reminded me that my love had grown cold and I was only reaping what I was sowing, which was nothing of Him.  I wasn't spending time with Him, I wasn't sharing the gifts and talents He gave me with others.  In short - I was just going through the motions and relying on my strength, my power, my wisdom, and my abilities to get things done.  And the hard thing was I did that pretty well, it was "normal".  But it took an overflowing of the Holy Spirit to reignite in me a passion to know Him more, to call me to relationship, not religion, and to release me to experience Him fully, not just once in a while, every day.  

I liked this flow.  It was a strong flow, but still not overflowing.  Of course, I thought I was flowing really well until God brought me face to face with the story of Naaman and his leprosy one Sunday as I was visiting Valley Christian Center in Dublin, CA on one of my business trips.  

(2 Kings 5: 1-13)  - Summarized version: Naaman was a leader, a strong one, but he had a secret.  He had leprosy.  He was a mighty commander of the army of Aram.  A little servant girl a band of his raiders had captured from Israel spoke to Naaman's wife about the God of Israel who could cure him of this disease.  He rose and went to his King and asked permission to go, he went with offerings for the King of Israel, but the king only tore his robes in agony trying to understand why the King of Aram would send his commander to him for healing.  But then God...

God alerted his prophet Elisha who told the King of Israel, send Naaman to me so he will know that surely there is a prophet of the Lord in this Land.  Naaman came to Elisha in his chariot and Elisha didn't even go down to meet him in person, instead he sent a messenger to him and told him to say to him "Go, wash yourself seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will be restored and you will be cleansed.”  Naaman went away angry, expecting the prophet to do some elaborate ritual over him, not something simple like bathing in a dirty river.   But one of his servants urged him, cajoling him by saying if he had said to do something great you would have done it... how much more should you do it if it's easy (wash and be cleaned).   Naaman humbled himself and finally did as the prophet said and his skin became as new as a young man.  

What was interesting about this story, and the young preacher Isaiah Salividar who brought it was that it showed me how I give up too easily.  It built so perfectly on an earlier passage God had used in my quiet time earlier that morning about the Desperate Gentile Woman in Matthew15:21-28.  This woman was so desperate for Jesus to help her that she kept bugging his disciples even after he ignored her, told her he wasn't here to save her, compared her to a dog and yet she kept on asking for his help.  I know I would have given up probably after his disciples brushed me off since their master had as well.  But she persisted and eventually, her desperation and persistence won Jesus over after she said, "Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master's table."  Jesus then answered her, "O, woman, great is your faith!  Be it done for you as you desire."  

These two stories collided one Sunday like a perfect storm as God showered down His holiness and reminded me that the depth of my relationship with Him was in direct proportion to my depth of my desperation for Him.  And like Naaman, and the gentile Canaanite woman, he wasn't going to just bless me the first time.  

I found myself broken at the alter crying out in my icy heart feeling nothing.  Crying out and feeling nothing.  And crying out and feeling nothing, crying out and feeling nothing, then feeling anger, growing in fear that He'd never touch me, and then a brokenness at that thought and finally it sprung - a flood of desperation.   Even though the altar call had finished I wasn't leaving until I was blessed.  I was going to dip until He filled me.  I was not leaving without a touch from him.  That night God thawed my cold heart and brought forward a spring of living water to flow in and through me,  releasing it in abundance, overflowing with passion and joy.  He brought forth the river of His Holy Spirit in my life in a new, fresh, and powerful way. 

Since that night over 3 weeks ago, God has continued to thaw out my fears, my dreams, passions long forgotten and released a growing spring in my heart.  As the river grows it is clearing away the debris I've allowed to collect in my mind, my desires, my pride, my indifference and I find myself swept away, on fire, yet doused in His love.  I can't explain it, I can't contain it, and I can't do anything other than share it.  

Friends, as Spring comes this year, I'm praying it literally comes to you and your life.  How is your relationship with God?  Is it as deep as your desperation for Him?  Have you turned away just one or two dips before the blessing comes?  Imagine what would have happened if Naaman quit dipping in the river after 4 times, or if that Canaanite woman had stopped when Jesus said, "I'm here only to save the lost sheep of Israel."  But they didn't, they kept pressing in, desperate for his Healing touch, mired in doubt but willing to thaw their fears and pride to receive the gift of life before them.  They humbled themselves and refused to leave until they were healed, until they were blessed, until they had the fullness of their desires.  

I pray this Spring will awaken the realization that without our desperation we will remain frozen in our own ways, our indifference, and our ways that seem normal but are merely embers of a greatness He wants to unleash in us.

I'm happy to talk with any of you further as the Spirit may prompt you and encourage you to run into His arms and refuse to leave until the fullness of your desire, the lesions on your heart are healed.  There are enough crumbs to satisfy us all.

I'm so grateful this winter has passed in my life and all things become new!  I want to live in this fresh spring of every day swept away by His love, His desire, His will, and His presence.  

Blessings to you.  May you find new life this spring in His Holy Spirit, in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Who? I AM

This is a little deeper blog post for me...  I've been wrestling with some philosophical musings here on who I am...  Posting only for encouragement to others to refelect on who God has made them to be and how to live in I AM.  I hope this speaks hope to you.

******

I was recently asked to write an essay about myself to choose a metaphor that showcases who I am, in all my fullness.  How does one do that?  What metaphor will suffice? I got to thinking that most of us spend our lives trying to figure out for ourselves, “Who AM I?” We look at self-help books.  We look for other’s perceptions of us.  We look in the mirror, and sometimes don’t even recognize ourselves. We search endlessly for the answer to a question, that might not even need to be a question, but more of an acknowledgement of who I AM  is and what that means to who I am.

I find it interesting that when God reveled himself to Abram he used the name I AM.   I AM, not I was, not I will be.   Simply I AM; unchanging, constant, and always true.   I AM is present tense.  It is this moment.  It is every moment.  As each second that passes becomes the past and we never attain the future, we are always in the present, we are always I am.  Even in the future God meets us as I AM.  Which means God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  There is a security in that which is lost at times, a comfort that is unspeakable, and a mystery beyond understanding.

As I looked at writing this essay, I realized that I am many things… I am a child of God with free will. I am the sum of my choices and experiences.  I have become what I am and I am becoming what I am meant to be. I am not who I was, and not yet who I will be.  This present tense is an interesting phenomenon.  I live so much in the future worried about who I will be, and at times too much in the past...lementing who I was.  I long to fully just embrace the concept of IAM in the fullest sense.  Understanding this unchanging, amazing God who he is as the Great IAM, who I am, and who He is making me to be.  How freeing.  IAM has always been, is now, and will always be working in my life in each present moment to grow me and make me who I am. 

So who am I?  I am a child of God, learning how to live in the moment.  Learning how to believe in an unchanging, ever constant loving God.  Learning to surrender to that power and love.  Learning to trust the Great I AM with my life, with my dreams, and with each moment.  I am NOT what others say that I am.  I am not who I think I am. I AM who He made me to be and who He has called me to be. 

The scripture is full of His revelation about himself.  Who IAM is and what that means for us.  He knows me, He loves me, He is actively working in me.  While I am not perfect, I am growing and changing and learning to be with I AM.  Psalm 139 (paraphrased) says, "I knew you, before you were even born, I formed you, I knit you together in your mother’s womb, all my days were numbered before any of them came to be."  IAM has, is, and will always be with me.  I can rest in who I am at this moment…a work in progress, a child learning better ways, imperfect, restless, and yet held.  I am not who I was, I am who I am today, and I am not what I will be. 

Help me IAM live each day in an awareness of who I am, in you, in a way that makes me who you called me to be.  Whole, forgiven, deeply loved, and a pearl of great price that you sacrificed your Son Jesus Christ to save.  Thank you for making me who I am by the power of the great I AM.

****

If you don't know the great IAM....I'd love to journey with you to discover this truth.

Ellie

The process to become indispensable...

Recently, I picked up a very dangerous book: Lynchpin by Seth Goodin. Dangerous for me because it assaulted my benign wold and has thrown me into quite a place of deeper introspection and questioning leading to a drive towards defining and acting more purposeful about my life.

"If you aren't indispensable yet, it's because you haven't made that choice," says Goodin. That one line confronted me deeply. Have I made that choice? Am I indispensable? If so, to whom; to what? For what purpose?

Goodin speaks of artistry and of making the choice to give your artistry away as a leader. Interesting how something so counter cultural could be so powerful. When I think back to the best leaders I've known, they have been indispensable to me because they were generous. They freely gave themselves, their knowledge, their encouragement, and at times their discontent to me to make me better. They painted a picture of capabilities they saw deeper within me that I didn't yet see. They championed attributes I was barely in touch with. They pushed me beyond my comfort zone and at times threw me into the deep-end. Their artistry was the way they did this. Their artistry was their gentle passion and belief that I was worth their investment. I became malleable clay in their hands and I am today who I am much because of the tools, strokes, and pressure they applied in my life.

So now I am pondering being indispensable. Am I indispensable? To whom or what do I want to be indispensable? What do I need to give away to get there? These are great questions to ponder as I stare at the canvas of my life. I'm picking up the brush and I am ready to share my artistry with the world.

Where are you on the choice to be indispensable? What is your artistry and how will you share it with the world?

Passion & Mustangs

A friend helped me understand that the quality that propels my success in the workforce is also the thing that causes me the greatest pain: my passion.

I'm grateful for this insight on many levels. First, it has brought a bit of sanity to the depth of my angst when things are decided against the direction I want to go. Second, it's given me language to help others understand that though I may be portraying it's the end of the world, or completely devastated, it's really a momentary pain that I'll get over and we'll all move forward. I've dubbed it "passion pain." Lastly, having recognized this trait in myself it is freeing and actually allows me to actually move through it more quickly, or throttle it back so it's not so severe. It's an area of growth for me and one I am excited about.

I had an incident this week that took me to a place of passion pain, though as I stated above it was not as deep as these disappointments have been previously, because I recognize what is driving it. But I did have another epiphany from it. I am a mustang at heart.

It is one of those things that others don't struggle with, but I know for me the recognition and yet questions all at the same time of the way "God made me" is tough. On one hand, I'm thankful that I was given such amazing passion, horsepower, and strength. It allows me to buck the system, jump over hurdles, and run fast in the work I have to before me. On the other hand, it is not always appreciated by others I work with. Like any mustang amongst thorough breads, the mustang can be looked at the one who spooks the other horses, an unpredictable, powerful force that is awesome and terrifying all at once. It is an identity for me that is both exciting and hard to own.

This epiphany is interesting for me to ponder in many ways. It explains why at times I feel bridled, corralled, and stifled. It also makes me recognize the awe and yet trepidation others feel about me on their team. I feel at times out of place, constricted, misunderstood. And at others times I love that I'm different, free, and able to set the pace. I recognize that God gave me these gifts and has allowed me to develop these passions for the work He has called me to do. Yet I know I do not see fully why He created me this way, or how He intends to use me fully.

While the passion pain that triggered this epiphany has passed, the imprint on the landscape of my life is unmistakable and long lasting. Like a bolt of lightening hitting a rock, it's mark indelible and changing it forever, I have too been changed as a result of this illumination and have much to think about in terms of the mark it left on me.

I'm curious if you ever struggle with why God made you a certain way? Do you have a strength that is a source of great angst as well? I'd love to hear more about your thoughts on this or am I alone?

Investment

It can be said that time is our greatest treasure. Given the culture we live in it is easy to let those riches fall away as we get wrapped up in things that are not important and yet have the illusion of being urgent. I don't know why it is so hard for us to make time to do the important things in our lives. The ones that we have to create, that we have to invest in, in order to create a different way of life, to enrich others lives, and to fulfill our purpose here on earth.

Today I was grateful for the time to spend with a friend, investing in the future. I am rich because I have time!